Ready to have the life of your dreams—connected, grounded, and fully alive??
I help people who crave depth and realness turn unwanted emotions into sources of power—so they can live with unmatched intimacy, clarity, and connection.
Does this sound familiar?
- You care deeply and want to live with purpose—but something keeps pulling you off center. It’s like there’s an emotional current just beneath the surface, shaping your choices in ways you don’t fully understand. You can feel that life could be more easeful, more connected—but something keeps getting in the way.
- You’ve done the inner work. You’ve gone deep. But something still lingers. A subtle weight. An emotional pattern that keeps resurfacing, just beyond your reach. It’s not about thinking positive—you already know better than that. It’s about finding a way to actually move what’s stuck, and access the freedom you can feel is possible.
- You’re someone others count on—steady, capable, thoughtful. And still, something inside stays hidden. It feels wrong, out of place—like something you shouldn’t have. Like it’s getting in the way of who you’re trying to be. You’ve tried to manage it, or simply push past it—but it keeps resurfacing. So you tuck it away. And carry the weight alone.
Let's put an end to all of that!
Hi, I'm Ilya!
I’m a psychotherapist, speaker, and the creator of Transformative Listening—a practice that helps thoughtful, big-hearted humans transform emotional pain into clarity and insight, so they can relate deeply, lead authentically, and help shape a more loving, human world.
Each of us is meant to live a life of deep joy, vibrant energy, and immense satisfaction. My work helps you uncover exactly what’s been holding you back—and shows you how to clear the blocks, release what’s stuck, and reignite your natural momentum. You’ll learn reliable, sustainable, repeatable techniques you can access for the rest of your life.
I didn't arrive at this work through theory - I lived it
Before I could guide others, I had to find my own way through
I didn’t always live with the clarity, connection, and sense of purpose I have now. My early life was shaped by confusion, emotional shutdown, and a deep need to adapt and belong. It took years of feeling what I’d spent a lifetime avoiding—and reclaiming the parts of myself I thought didn’t belong—to finally come home to who I really am.
As a child, I immigrated from the USSR to the U.S. at the age of nine, navigating an entirely new culture and language while dealing with my parents’ divorce just months later. I learned to suppress my emotions, to present the version of myself that would be accepted, rather than the one that was real.
For years, I perfected the role of the cool, unbothered rebel
I masked pain with a laid-back, carefree attitude and numbed discomfort with distractions—partying, chasing fun, doing whatever felt good in the moment. By the end of high school, I was deep in it. I was doing things that felt exciting and wild, but were actually extremely risky. And then one of my closest friends and dearest people in my life passed away from a drug overdose. That snapped me out of it. I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine.

I switched to pursuing TRUTH at all cost
I started reshaping all the parts of my life, and about midway through college, things looked very different: I did zero partying, and lived with total dedication to a relentless structure: daily workouts, nonstop study, total one-pointed pursuit of truth.
Anyone who met me during that time experienced me as super intense. I was completely obsessed with understanding the nature of reality and the purpose of existence.
And then it happened—
I had an awakening.
I became completely unconstrained and fearless. I apprehended the spiritual dimension of reality—how matter is secondary, and Spirit is the real event. I started living from this deep center of knowing that all is well. It was incredible.
Except that I still hadn't dealt with the underlying pain that had accumulated over the years
So my enlightenment was tainted, and my awakening unraveled. As I tried to hold on to it, I became completely untethered from consensus reality. And learned this the hard way... Hitting rock bottom like an Icarus falling out from the sky.
Climbing out of rock bottom, I learned to deal with what I had been running from
The first step out was
meditation. I committed to it daily, diving deep into 10-day silent retreats, unlocking powerful states of universal love and self-acceptance. But every time I re-entered the social world, my breakthroughs crumbled. And that's when I realized something profound:
💡 Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in connection.
Out of necessity, I discovered the transformative power of deliberate attention exchange—a practice where one person offers deep, loving attention while the other openly expresses their inner world. Then, they switch.
This changed everything.
For nearly two decades, I’ve been immersed in this practice, refining it, expanding it, and watching it transform not just my life, but the lives of hundreds of others.
In 2014, I earned my Master’s in Counseling Psychology and built a thriving practice in one-on-one and couples therapy. But something so much bigger is possible for all of us:
🚀
Ordinary people can tap into extraordinary healing because of the power of attention—it's our
ATTENTION, not a therapy degree, that makes for profound healing.
That’s why I created Transformative Listening—to spark a movement where deep healing and personal transformation aren’t confined to therapy sessions, but become a shared practice that reshapes our lives, communities, and society as a whole.
The truth is: we need each other to be our full selves.
Society forces us to suppress our emotions just to get by, but this isn’t just an inconvenience—it’s robbing us of our full potential.
When we receive deep, unconditional attention in a structured way, the barriers that hold us back—fear, self-doubt, unprocessed pain—literally dissolve.
Transformative Listening teaches you to
both give and receive this life-altering attention.
Imagine what’s possible when you’re surrounded by people who truly see you, support you, and empower you to reach your highest potential, and you do the same for them!
If this speaks to you, let’s connect.
Values at the Core of Transformative Listening
Healing When You Need It—Not Just Once a Week
Transformative Listening groups meet at scheduled intervals, but the partnerships you form can support you anytime you need them, especially as your Transformative Listening network grows. Healing shouldn’t be confined to pre-scheduled sessions—it should be available when life calls for it.
You Are the Ultimate Authority on Yourself
True healing doesn’t come from outside advice—it comes from being deeply seen, heard, and believed in. Our role is to offer loving attention, trust in your innate wisdom, and activate your ability to thrive.
Helping Others Heal is a Healing Experience
In Transformative Listening, we take turns being both the healer and the healed. This reciprocity reminds us that we are never alone in our struggles—and that being of service is one of the most powerful ways to heal ourselves.
Featured In:
Listen to my interview on A Quest for Wellbeing podcast with Valeria Teles about the incredible power of Transformative Listening.
Get exclusive access to my self-revelatory performance—an intimate, invite-only video where I take you through the personal highs and lows that shaped Transformative Listening.
Listen to the Transformative Listening episode of the Better MENtal Health podcast.
What people are saying:
It is hard to put into words, how much this process has changed me. I feel full and grounded in a way that I used to envy in others, and that I thought was completely out of the realm of possibilities for me.
Before this, I felt like I was floundering in my relationships and friendships. I was always asking myself if I had said or done the right thing, and was left feeling hopeless or betrayed by small conflicts. I thought that, if I could just “be a better person” or find “better people,” my life would feel more easeful and satisfying.
I now have so much confidence that I can show up for the people I love, in the way that they want to be loved. And because of that, it feels easy to ask for and expect to be loved: fully, and for the person I am, right now. To know how to be deeply vulnerable, and feel what it is to be consistently met there, is a gift that I hope everyone can experience.
Aarthi G, San Francisco CA
I came in wanting to connect more deeply—especially with my kids—but felt emotionally blocked. I hadn’t cried in decades and felt cut off from my feelings and empathy. Through this work, I slowly opened up—and when the tears finally came, I felt human again. Now I’m feeling more, accessing emotion with greater ease, and beginning to trust myself in deeper connection. I show up with more presence and openness in all my relationships—including with my own coaching clients, where I’ve started applying what I’ve learned in powerful and practical ways.
Entrepreneur, father of 2, Atlanta, GA
I used to be a lot more scared of going into emotions. I think a lot of us are like that. So I was spending a lot of time pushing feelings down. And then it was like a mindset shift for me. I just started letting myself feel things more. And then, with that attention and the space that Transformative Listening provides, I ended up feeling like release is a really great feeling. l used to do a lot of these calls in my office, and then I would come back into my house and I just feel like l'm high on life. I would just feel so good. Like I thought something out that I really needed to get out or I got attention exactly where I needed it, where I was really missing it. Just feels SO good!
(excerpted from a post-group interview, click below to hear the audio)
LD, Fairfax, CA
It's time to stop running, and access your full power.
Running from ourselves is useless, and leads to needless suffering. As Joseph Campbell said: “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” And what is the treasure you seek? Why, it’s YOU! The genuine authentic real awesome gift that you are and always have been.
Living life as your real self is the key to success and amazing results.
And the really truly awesome and not often enough stated fact about accessing your full self? It’s never something you do alone. It never has been. It never can be. Even when you’re completely by yourself, the very words in your head are little ancestral symbols of being absorbed in a collective. Just think about it. 🤔
The point I’m driving toward is that we really aren’t meant to deal with our burdens alone - especially when we’re talking about things you’ve been running from your whole life.
Join forces with others. And help one another transform the pain we run from into the wellspring of power and wellbeing it is meant to be.